Monday, March 22, 2010

A Hard Job for a Soft Heart

I can see how as a teacher it would be easier to skate through the years easily in one respect by not really investing in your students anymore than you have to...
What I mean is that I realized today something that I already knew in my head, but it became reality because this morning, one of my students came by to tell me he was leaving. His family is moving to Midland. He told me he wished he could at least come to my class before he left. His family is originally from Mexico, and as an English as a Second Language learner, he struggles in his classes (though, in all honestly, most of his struggle is that he would rather be goofing off than learning... lol). He's been a student that I have seen behavioral and emotional successes with. I actually fought back tears after we said goodbye, after he promised me that he would make good decisions - especially when it comes to the friends that he chooses to hang out with, and as he waved at me as he walked down the hallway towards the front office.
I love my students - all of them. Even the ones that make me want to quit sometimes... haha. I want the best for my students, and I want them to make good decisions and to not have to learn things the hard way like I did (and still do...), even though it is inevitable. I guess this is the closest to understanding parenthood that I will get until, Lord willing, we do have our own children one day. Man, I'm going to be a mess of a Mom...
No. No, I won't. I now understand my mother in ways I never did before. My mom was always a bucket of tears at times of transition, like going to college, etc. BUT... she always said that she did not turn into a mess of a mom at those points because she knew that I was the Lord's. Not hers.
There are some things I'd rather take people's word for instead of experiencing. Instead, I am tearful on the first day back after spring break. ;) What the heck am I going to do at the end of the year?!?!?! YIKES!

7 comments:

Lindsey said...

statement. you're going to make a wonderful, strong, Godly mother. i know this because i know you. you are nurturing, loving, compassionate, gentle, caring, patient and easily excitable! :)

great qualities for a mother, amazing qualities for a dear friend.

The Irwins said...

I can't wait to see you with your own kiddos, Denisie. You will be amazing. Love you :)

jeff/jen holm said...

it's moments like those when you realize the effect you've had on those kids that make all the hard days so worth it, huh? so proud of you, sister.

p.s. i still think you'll have kids before kelley & i. :)

denisie power said...

HAHAHA JEN! we'll see about that. on one hand, I wouldn't be surprised, but on the other... ;) I'm okay with becoming an aunt before a mother! lol.

Luke&Lynn said...

Hello, my name is Lynn. you may have forgotten that i am your sister b/c i'm so far away. You are old. you need the first babies.

Amy W. said...

Hi Denise,
I was just introduced to your blog by way of Calloway's Nursery. I too, would love to have some veges growing at our house. I'm deeply touched by what I've read and will continue to follow your journey. I was a teacher, and now have 2 precious God given girls to help raise with my super awesome husband. I can relate to your latest post. ;) Keep at it girl!

Isabel said...

Hi Denise, I can totally relate. I teach third graders and am also trying to start a garden! Got your blog from Calloway's and am glad I found you for reasons other than that! You are so godly and joyous it is infectious! Keep up your documenting! People are reading :)