Here goes nothin!

In just three days (well about two and a half now...) my life is going to get quite a bit more....hectic.

I would covet your prayers if you think about it ever... for my sanity and ability to learn the art of juggling:

*working until 730pm every weeknight in Westlake for Fidelity Investments
*cooking dinner for my husband and I to eat before midnight
*spending quality time with my husband before we go to bed at about 930pm since he has to wake up at 530am... yuk!
*being able to stay on top of my school work to get my teaching certification WHILE at the same time... i'll only have 10 days per section...
*being able to stay on top of my studies for work... I'll be in a two month training program to basically teach me everything there is to know about finance....
*keeping our apartment from becoming an absolute mess hole
and
*having a life...haha yeah right.

and that's just the brunt of it. haha :)

totally not complaining. please don't take it as that. I have just been praying about that this week. I want to be able to be the wife that I have a picture of myself being in my head (like my mom)...but i'm pretty sure that's a HUGE pair of shoes to fill...and i've only been at this thing for 8 weeks, tomorrow...

wow. we've been married for two months :) that is neat. ;)

Spiritual Battle

I don't usually dream... well, I don't usually dream dreams that I remember when I wake up... I VERY rarely, if ever, have nightmares... I really can't remember the last time that I did...

But last night, I had a terrifying nightmare about demon oppression. I don't remember the whole thing, but the main part I remember is that I was talking on the phone with my grandmother, Mom-Maw, and in the middle of our conversation I began feeling extremely uneasy, oppressed, and afraid. I cut into the conversation and just told her she had to pray with me. We began praying at the same time, and all I know is that I was repeating things such as, "In the name of Jesus Christ you are NOT welcome here and you MUST leave. God, I ask that you remove any unclean spirits that are here in this place, and bind them away from here. Please allow the Holy Spirit to be here, and, Lord, please just protect your children in this place." I kept just praying those things over and over and I remember in one instant I felt a HUGE chill-like shaking thing happening to my body, and then it just stopped. Then my dream flipped over to me staring into a medicine cabinet mirror and realizing that about 6 of my front teeth were being moved around and falling out of my mouth. It didnt really hurt, but I was watching my teeth come loose from my gums and I had no way to stop it. For some reason, in my dream I knew that it had something to do with the demon... I don't really understand why I would know/think that now...

Anyways... such a terrible dream. It felt so real... I have only had one experience similar to the oppression part of the dream and it was almost exactly a year ago.

I did come to a realization a few weeks ago, however. I have told some of my close friends about this already... When I had the encounter/experience/whatever you want to call it, about a year ago, it was during a time that the Lord really had my attention. I was studying and praying in a genuine, desperate way that just made my soul feel so close to the Lord. I can't really explain it. After it happened (this was not something that I did on purpose...it just happened), I can see now that my relationship with the Lord began to suffer. Whatever Satan's reasoning for the attack, I would NOT be surprised if it were to discourage my chasing after the Lord with such fervor as I was, because that is exactly what happened. I realize now, looking back, that after that happened, I would get to a certain point in my studying and in my prayers, etc, and then i would just coast for a while... I would never dig in past a certain point... I did not see this then, but I see it so clearly now. I was afraid, subconsciously, I think, to dig in any deeper because I was terrified that something like that would happen again. For the past few weeks (since i realized this), I have been making it a point to go past my comfort level in this sense. That may seem silly, but I can tell when I am being honest and raw with the Lord in my heart, and when I am that way... I get a little frightened... but I am pushing past that right now in my pursuit of the Lord because I am sick of being frightened of something that is less powerful than my God. That is just silly.
Along the same lines as this, something that I have recently been struggling with is speaking about these things and about my walk with the Lord with people and even with writing these things in my journal or blog or anything... I know that Satan and his demons cannot read my thoughts, so I almost feel as if they are safe if i keep them inside... I have been struggling with keeping them there just so that he cannot access my innermost thoughts... However, as I type this out, I am realizing that that is simply one more way that gives him power over me. It just signifies that I fear him and whatever he may do with those thoughts. So, here they are. I'm laying them out. They are no longer only in my head, safe from whatever I think they are safe from there...
I want to believe with my ACTIONS, not only my words, that the Lord is more mighty than anyone or anything else. It means nothing if I say these things and still keep things inside from fear of an inferior being...

So... here we go... another day in which to make it a point to press into the Lord regardless of my flesh (fear).

He IS better, and He IS mighty to save. Amen.

Update List: Your FAVorite!!

Lots to speak of right now, i suppose...

i start my new position at Fidelity Investments a week from tomorrow. i cannot wait to be done with chilis... again...

i had my fingerprinting and security badge-making appointment in westlake (where i will be working) yesterday and the man forgot to give me back my social security card and drivers license. thankfully my temporary paper drivers license is still valid until mid-november or so from when i had my legal name change due to...marriage. :) holla!

i have come to terms with the fact that i will forever forget how to spell "license" correctly. apparently that word was never on any spelling tests i had in school. also "raspberry". learned how to spell that the other day. i guess i've never tried to write it down before? who knew that there was a friggin "P" in RASPBERRY!? ha. the things we learn at 24... hmmm...

school is killer right now. for those of you who are confused and thinking, "i thought you graduated a year and a half ago..." you are correct. HOWEVER... i am getting my teaching certificate...so i'm back in school. the good and bad thing is that all of my courses are online, so i can access them whenever/wherever i can login to a computer... there is so much work to be done. the lessons are rather unclear a lot of the time, so i don't feel extremely confidant when submiting the completed lessons... hopefully that will get better?

i need to be doing that homework right now. i wanted to finish the lesson that i was on yesterday... didnt happen. you can only study for so many hours before you just want to punch yourself in the head 14 times consecutively.... i opted out of that and stopped....

so here i am, blogging instead of homeworking... really responsible, denisie...

ok. here i go. being responsible, and (mom...remember this less than perfect mark from every report card i ever got??) using my time wisely....

and...she's off.



oh, p.s. aaron decided that he wants to drive out to his parents' house friday after this coming one to pick up the puppy that his parents are keeping for us until we get a house (his parents' dog, Ol' Babes, had puppies not too long ago... one of them is for us), and bring it back to our apartment for the weekend... so... if anyone has a kennel that we could borrow for the weekend?? i would very much appreciate not having all of our things chewed up over the coming few days... also i would say, "thank you".

i know i've already posted today...

so, i saw in a friend's blog that they came across this website that is basically a website meant for married people who want to have an affair... it helps them do it... hooks up married people to others who are married and wanting to cheat on their spouses...

WHAT?!?!?!?!

i mean, it's bound to have happened sooner or later the way the world is now, but it still shocked me, and it is so hard for me to grasp how loosely some people view the covenant of marriage!

i dont know. it hurts me so much to think about the people who's spouses are a part of this...

i looked at the site for a moment to see what it really was, and there was a "comments" page, so i read a few of them... one of them really struck me...

the comment was from a lady who "found her soul mate" through this website... and is now marrying them...

WHAT ON EARTH WOULD MAKE YOU DESIRE TO MARRY SOMEONE YOU MET ON A FREAKING "CHEAT ON YOUR 'WIFE'" WEBSITE?!

i just dont GET IT!!!

i don't understand, and i am not even going to think about the pain that must be associated with this website... and even more of it that people mistake for joy... such fleeting joy...

man... i dont know how to end this one, so i'm just going to end. please pray with me for these people. it is so heavy on my heart to pray for the mess so many of our neighbors have most likely been a part of... :(

...how do you destroy a website? is that possible? can i accidentaly erase any trace of it? ok i will... as soon as i learn... :(

dP

Intro to twins mentioned below: The Big Reveal

Here they are, ladies and gents... You've been waiting ever so patiently, and was not in vain!

Let me personally introduce you to:

Mr. Cleary Martinez, aka: the big man!

Fish Face:

Boo!

And next up we have the one and only Mr. Cline Martinez!!
(i finally learned how to keep their names straight yesterday thanks to anyah! She said that "klein" in German means "small"... and Cline is the smaller twin! YEA! got it! :) haha):

He's so goofy! :)

Okay, now for the fun part...

Yesterday (when i watched the boys) was my Dad's 53rd birthday! WOOT!! :)
so, naturally, we would make him a birthday sign celebration for Cleary to enjoy and Cline to fall asleep during! DUH!


I'm not sure if you can read the sign that Cleary is most handsomely attempting to chomp on, but it says, "Happy Birthday, Mr. B!! Love, Cleary, Cline, and Denisie!"

MAN those kiddos are adorable.... SO CUTE! :)

Just a thought...

...as i get ready to head out to watch two of the most ADORABLE twin one-yr-old boys on earth... Cleary and Cline Martinez (their padres, Paul and Anyah were our pre-marital counseling mentor couple).

I was shuffling about the kitchen this morning, pouring a glass of cranberry juice and mixing up some delicious raspberry yogurt for breakfast, when i noticed the clean glasses in the dish drain... not that there is anything unusual about them being there, but as i put them away (since they were now dry...) i just thought...
there has not been one day since we've been married, that Aaron has NOT helped me in the kitchen. i cook dinner for us every night that that's possible, and every night, when we're finished eating, we clean the kitchen together. it takes SO MUCH LESS TIME when we do it together! i always loved cooking, but hated the cleaning up part until now! haha. it's always fun to have a friend! :) ...especially when they're helping you clean... haha.

yeah. my husband cleans the kitchen. OH yeah, it's definitely sexy.

Eat your heart out. ;)

dP

Here Goes Nothin'

well, hello there, blogworld... long time no see...

it's strange to think that the last time i had a blog was when i lived across the atlantic in a country speaking another language with a family not my own...

and now i have a whole new family to speak of! My husband and i are now officially a part of this "married blogging" thing... let's see if we can remember to update...

it is so late right now, i can't believe i'm still awake. sleep comes next... Aaron was asleep long ago while i stayed up to finish a few school-ish things... I'm working on my teaching certification through iTeachTexas, so this will probably be a normal thing for the next few months, unfortunately. I'm ready for this stage to be over... this different schedules stage.

I start my new position with Fidelity Investments on the 27th. I'm really looking forward to having a steady income again. i haven't had that since i left for spain in january... waiting tables isn't as great as it was back when i was a single college student sharing an apartment bedroom (and rent...).

Being married has been great lately. It was hard for a while - for both of us. i can honestly say, though, that just a few days past five weeks in, it's been a great week. I love my husband, and I am definitely a blessed woman to have him.

I can't believe we've been married for almost six weeks!!! SO strange.... i love it :)